A bailout for…cheese

In keeping with the theme of the day, Hanna Lundqvist of Democracy Arsenal highlights this cheesy very serious WSJ article:

It's not easy sellin' cheese these days.

The world is bailing out banks and car companies. Italy is coming to the rescue of parmigiano cheese. In an effort to help producers of the cheese commonly grated over spaghetti, fettuccine and other pastas, the Italian government is buying 100,000 wheels of Parmigiano Reggiano and donating them to charity. Though demand for parmigiano is strong in Italy and abroad, producers have been struggling for years to make money, putting the future of Italy’s favorite cheese at risk…

…Now that the government has stepped in to help parmigiano makers, however, others are making a stink. “We’ve never received a single dime in state aid,” complains Vincenzo Oliviero, who heads the association of buffalo mozzarella producers. Mr. Oliviero says makers of the juicy white cheese eaten alone or on pizza have been suffering since Naples faced a trash crisis last year.

Perhaps mozzarella-makers should look across the ocean, where cheese bars are apparently the hottest new thing in American cities.

(image from flickr user y foéÖþoooey under a Creative Commons license)

What first ladies are there for

According to Governor Rod Blagojevich’s website The New York Times, the responsibilities of Illinois first lady Patricia Blagojevich are, you know, all those womanly things.

The Web site for the governor’s office says that in addition to raising the couple’s two daughters, Ms. Blagojevich occupies herself with typical first lady issues: raising awareness on children’s health, food allergies and literacy, and starting the State Beautification Initiative, which planted native wildflowers along state roads.

The portfolio of a first lady

“Typical first lady issues” are, according to The Times, raising children, self-State Beautification, and planting flowers.  True, Patricia Blagojevich’s website does list these initiatives…but it describes them as “issues that directly affect the well-being of Illinois’ citizens” — a far cry from prescribing norms.  The “typical first lady” crap is all The Times.  I guess it just made a better story to have the “blast of vulgar language” that emanated from Ms. Blagojevich — I’m not even entirely sure what “hold up that [expletive] Cubs [expletive] … [expletive] them” really means — come from a typically demure first lady with a “very low profile.”  And who takes care of babies and flowers.

(image from flickr user Dazed81 under a Creative Commons license)

(h/t Megan)

A “what if?” from 1916

Another reason why Woodrow Wilson is one of the most fascinating American presidents ever: in the midst of an exceedingly tense election, in 1916, he devised a plan to abdicate the Oval Office earlier than necessary.

The precarious state of relations with the nations at war in Europe, particularly Germany, made Wilson fear for national security in the event of an interregnum — which then, before the ratification of the 20th Amendment in 1933, lasted more than a month longer than it does today. A former professor of political science who had studied and admired parliamentary systems, Wilson decided upon a drastic plan to shorten this uneasy period.

Two days before the election he had a sealed letter, which he had typed himself, hand-delivered to the secretary of state, who was then third in line of succession to the presidency. Wilson wrote that if he lost he would immediately appoint his Republican opponent, Charles Evans Hughes, secretary of state, and then he and his vice president would resign, making Hughes president at once. Wilson said he was proposing this plan because those were not “ordinary times” and “no such critical circumstances in regard to our foreign policy have ever existed before.”

More historical op-eds, please.

(image from flickr user stefanie says under a Creative Commons license)

Pub bailout

The Guardian knows what England is all about.

It is perhaps too much to expect a government pub strategy, to complement the burgeoning policies for all the other troubled sectors. But as well as providing much-needed local employment, pubs are part of our heritage and an essential part of the vibrancy of life. Politicians don’t often have an opportunity to increase or preserve happiness. They will ignore the plight of pubs at their peril.

Oh contraire On the contrary, my good British friends. Instead of cutting back happy hours (what could more obviously decrease happiness?), the British government should invest some more pounds in pubs. More happy hours = more spending = more happiness. A simple economic equation.

(image from flickr user nicasaurusrex under a Creative Commons license)

Christmas bailout eliminates need for war

Big guy won't be happy without a bailout...

How to respond to liberals’ yearly “War on Christmas?”  Fire some of their own socialist secular medicine up to the North Pole and declare a “Christmas bailout.”

With the government on the brink of rescuing the U.S. auto industry, we have learned that the Treasury Department is drawing up plans to bail out Christmas. “We have reason to believe,” said a person close to the matter, “that without an immediate capital injection, Santa Claus will fail before December 24.” Mr. Claus could not be reached for comment.

One might think that, even though this guy looks serious, if he’s humorous enough to pen a column depicting Santa Claus’ elves involved in an elaborate, Lehman Brothers-backed securites exchange scheme, then he might recognize the absurdity of claiming that the economic meltdown actually was caused by people’s “inability” to say “Merry Christmas.”

Oops.  Guess not.

(video that doesn’t seem to be embedding here)

(image from flickr user kmog under a Creative Commons license)